Equity vs. Equality: A Woman’s Reality in Corporate

The hidden cost of motherhood, emotional labor, and uninterrupted career expectations

The other day I was reading a study on the gender pay gap and its connection with maternity leave. In this study, maternity leave was considered one of the major factors contributing to the gap. The entire phenomenon is known as the “motherhood penalty.” Research shows that employers sometimes consciously or unconsciously view mothers as less committed or less reliable, which affects hiring, promotion, and pay decisions.

Of course, I was deeply offended by the results of this research and shared the publication with several close female friends. Let’s all rage together, I thought.

But rage we did not.

Some were vocal and shared my feelings, yet others were completely unbothered. Even though they have children, they never felt the “penalty” or its effects on their salary. One was even motivated and very optimistic about her future. The best is yet to come, she said.

And I thought, but how? Aren’t we all feminists? Shouldn’t we react to such research and ask for change, for better rights? And then again, ask who? Ask for what? Obviously, we have completely different needs and expectations when it comes to our rights. What is considered a right for a woman born into a family where education was not granted is not necessarily the right that postmodern feminists expect and ask for.

So, starting from the questions that are part of my reality, I would argue (with myself, of course) on several topics when it comes to women’s rights.

One of the most pressing topics in my world is the topic of women’s rights in the workplace, or rather, the lack of them. But I am not sure if we have framed this battle correctly. It’s not so much that we as women are discriminated against man simply because we are women, but rather because of what being a woman entails.

Being a woman often means being strongly connected to our emotions, which can make us appear weak in certain situations. It can mean being absent due to maternity leave at the peak of our career. It can mean carrying the badge of the “on-call” parent 24/7.

And all these things are simply biology. We are built in a certain way. We were built to be the gentle gender, the tender caregivers, the ones who take care of the well-being of the family. It is connected to our womb; it is written in the collective memory. And these things are beautiful to have. It’s just that hustle culture has created so much pressure that we started getting lost in what is important and what is not. We women have lost our connection with our roots, with that tender side of us, to the point that we now even feel it as a burden to carry rather than a strength to be celebrated.

But things are complicated when it comes to women’s rights, aren’t they? We did not fall into the trap of hustle culture by chance. We fell there because, at one point, having no way of being independent hurt us. It put us in situations where we were used and abused, or somebody we loved was. So now being a “boss lady” is not a good-to-have thing, it’s a necessity.

We always say that humans need to have purpose in life. They need to create something, leave a legacy. Yet I highly doubt that working 09 to 05 in corporate was ever the idea of that purpose, at least not for many of us women.

We are working in a system that was created many years ago and was never designed with women in mind. It was never designed for a person who would put a pause on their career for months, even years, and then come back as if nothing happened. Because things do happen. New technologies are introduced. New management is appointed, and the old one, the one who was familiar with our qualities, is long gone. Now we need to prove ourselves again. And we might have to do this again in the future.

At the same time, our male colleagues are often running a different race, one with fewer interruptions. They are in a different category altogether. It’s called sprint.

And when we eventually get back in the game, our avatar has a new role. Now we are the “on-call” parent. At least in my environment. We are the ones called when our child is sick, when he forgets his homework, when his uniform is not washed. We are the go-to person for all domestic and miscellaneous tasks.

And we want to do all this. We truly do, because we adore our kids. But at the same time, we also need to remember what the purchasing procedure was and how that Excel file worked. And suddenly, we find ourselves in the bathroom crying.

Or, if you are like me and life decided to be extra generous and grant you access to the infertility battle, then you have another layer added to your story. Research from 2024 shows that about 17.5% of people worldwide experience infertility. This means millions of individuals and couples are struggling to conceive, a large part of them being part of the corporate world.

This journey entails countless hours of medical examinations, procedures, sick leave, and much more. Even if the challenge comes from the partner’s side, most medical treatments require our presence. Most of the time, this lasts for years. And the emotions, let’s just say if you thought women are emotional in general, try us under hormonal therapy. We are ticking bombs that need to keep everything inside and not go ballistic when Jane from accounting just can’t find the leave request that has been published for years on the same SharePoint location!!!

I think by now you can see where I am going with this. Fixing my challenges with women’s rights in the workplace entails creating a workspace where me being a woman is taken into consideration, by treating me differently than a man when necessary. And yes, I know how this sounds. We ask for the same rights, only to ask for something different a minute later. But equality does not mean equity.

Because in reality, we are different from our male colleagues, and that cannot be changed. We need workspaces where managers provide extra support when we return from maternity leave. Spaces where our emotional intelligence is considered a strength, not a weakness. Spaces where the thousands of women currently undergoing fertility treatments are supported and understood. A place where our sick children can be our priority, and for that not to be judged by our colleagues.

Because finally, even though not every woman wants to have children, and that is entirely her personal right, those who do are acting in the best interest of humankind. Fertility rates are dropping worldwide, and this is becoming a serious issue, especially for Europe and North America. Supporting women in their motherhood journey is not granting extra special rights; it is supporting the continuation of society.

Having women in the corporate environment, especially now, in the AI era, is a necessity. Even though overall emotional intelligence may be comparable, men and women often demonstrate different strengths. In general, women tend to score higher in areas such as empathy, interpersonal relationships, and social responsibility, exactly the skills that will be needed in the years to come.

That is why I fight for equity rather than equality. I fight for workspaces that appreciate our differences and support each gender based on their specific needs. We are not all the same. Some of us need a little extra support to reach the heights we are capable of.

Love,

Diana