From Flaws to Foundations
How I Learned to Love the Things I Used to Hate About Myself
There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.
For years, all I could see were my “bad” traits.
I talked too fast and too much.
I wore my emotions openly.
I was reactive when triggered.
I tried to be perfect for everyone else.
I rushed through tasks without paying enough attention to quality.
At the time, I considered these flaws that caused me problems in work and in life. Talking too much led to awkward moments, because I filled silences without thinking things through. Being expressive made me an easy read for manipulators. Reactivity pulled me into confrontations I later regretted. People-pleasing left me drained, solving puzzles that didn’t even have solutions. And moving too fast meant mistakes I had to redo.
For years, these traits felt like enemies.
The Shift in Perspective
The moment I decided to work on myself, I realized I didn’t need to erase these trait, I needed to reinterpret them. They were still me. They would always be me. The question was: How do I work with them instead of against them?
As life unfolded, some edges softened. I still love conversation, but silence feels more natural now. That youthful chattiness? It gave me friendships and professional networks I still lean on today.
My expressiveness? It built trust and authenticity. People know me at my core, which helps me in HR and beyond.
Reactivity? It pushed me toward NLP training, which became a turning point in self-awareness. It also taught me to stand up for myself.
Speed? After enough feedback, I learned to slow down and double-check, but I kept the gift of agility and adaptability.
None of these traits disappeared. They just evolved.
A Story That Proves the Point
My lesson is small compared to someone like Temple Grandin, but her story illustrates the same truth on a larger scale.
Diagnosed with autism at a time when most autistic children were institutionalized, she was told she would never lead a normal life. What others saw as “defects”, hypersensitivity, sensory overload, difficulty with social interactions, became the foundation of her brilliance.
Her ability to see the world differently revolutionized the livestock industry. She designed humane systems used in over half of all cattle facilities in North America, because she noticed details neurotypical designers missed.
Her limitations were never limitations at all. They were her superpowers.
The Choice We All Have
We live in a world quick to label traits as “toxic” or “unhealthy.” But what if many of these so-called flaws are actually strengths waiting for the right stage?
Maybe your indecisiveness makes you more analytical.
Maybe your introversion protects your energy.
Maybe your slower pace makes your work more thorough.
The choice is yours: see yourself as broken, or see yourself as a project in progress, with gifts hidden in the cracks.
From Personal to Professional
In HR, I see versions of this every day. During performance reviews or coaching sessions, employees often label themselves harshly:
“I’m too quiet.”
“I overthink.”
“I’m not good under pressure.”
But when reframed, those traits reveal strengths: the quiet one is the best listener, the overthinker prevents mistakes, the one who avoids pressure creates stability for others.
As HR professionals and leaders, we have a responsibility to help people see both sides of their traits. Performance reviews aren’t just about pointing out what’s “wrong.” They’re about helping employees reframe their own narratives, so they grow instead of shrink.
The Takeaway for Leaders & HR
Don’t stop at weaknesses, ask: “How could this also be useful?”
Train managers to reframe traits during feedback. It shifts conversations from criticism to growth.
Remember that employees don’t need to be “fixed.” They need to be guided toward seeing the light in their cracks.
Because HR is not just about policies and procedures. It’s about helping people rewrite their own stories, and reminding them they are not broken, they are becoming.
Yours,
Diana
Quick Reframe Guide
Here are a few shifts for when you’re being hard on yourself:
“I’m too sensitive” → “I’m emotionally intelligent and empathetic.”
“I’m indecisive” → “I’m thoughtful and consider multiple perspectives.”
“I’m a perfectionist” → “I have high standards and attention to detail.”
“I’m too quiet” → “I’m a thoughtful listener and deep thinker.”
“I’m stubborn” → “I’m determined and have strong convictions.”
“I’m too controlling” → “I’m organized and take initiative.”
“I’m overly emotional” → “I’m passionate and authentic.”
“I’m impatient” → “I’m results-oriented and efficient.”
“I’m too trusting” → “I’m optimistic and see the best in people.”
“I worry too much” → “I’m prepared and anticipate challenges.”
Where did you ever get the idea that you were broken? It sounds like someone played an awful trick on you.
Very excellent points all through, thank you for sharing your experience in reinterpreting cracks. It reminded me of some thoughts I've seen from Bayo Akomolafe, an author, teacher and intellectual, have you heard of him? If you are interested let me know I can send some stuff your way.